I know this is right. I knew this would happen, I knew my feelings for you would go right back to square one again. I knew they couldn't die off that quickly.
Even though you are not my knight in shining armour, and I am not your princess, the connection is there. I understand you more than most people, and I know that's what you need. I know that you've been hurt, and I know that you still are. I know you need that extra amount of love. I'm here to give it to you. I care about you. You mean a lot to me. You've helped me through so much. I don't know where I would be if you hadn't given me that extra push. Thank you for believing in me.
It's here, to stay.
11.27.2009
Fanbloodytastic.
I feel like shittttt.
I want to drive home from tap today, and my father did not let me. So naturally, being a teenager, I protest. The answer I get in a raised voice is that I am ungrateful and I have an attitude problem. I do not even bother to respond to that. He has his crappy music blasting from his phone so I turn it down. He turns it up louder. I turn it down once again. He swerves sharply off of the road onto the gravel and tells me to get out and walk home, and drives away. I walk to Panorama and call my best friend. She picks me up and takes me back to her house. Later my mom takes me home. She agrees that he should not have done that. Then starts to yell at me for feeling sorry for myself, and how I take them for granted. Just what I need after being dumped on the curb by my own father.
Thanks for that.
Thank you very much.
I want to drive home from tap today, and my father did not let me. So naturally, being a teenager, I protest. The answer I get in a raised voice is that I am ungrateful and I have an attitude problem. I do not even bother to respond to that. He has his crappy music blasting from his phone so I turn it down. He turns it up louder. I turn it down once again. He swerves sharply off of the road onto the gravel and tells me to get out and walk home, and drives away. I walk to Panorama and call my best friend. She picks me up and takes me back to her house. Later my mom takes me home. She agrees that he should not have done that. Then starts to yell at me for feeling sorry for myself, and how I take them for granted. Just what I need after being dumped on the curb by my own father.
Thanks for that.
Thank you very much.
11.25.2009
Phylum Platyhelminthes, Nematoda, and Annelida. Wait, what?!
So, I am supposed to be working on my biology right now in class. But hell, it's sometimes fun to be a rebel. C'mon you all know I'm right. I wish I wasn't such a procrastinator, it really sucks. I have so much stuff due in the next few days, and I've barely started any of it. I wish I could just sit down and do my homework without trouble and without being distracted, but that never happens. I'll worry about that later.
I feel a rant coming on.
You make my life miserable. Why do you do this to me? You can see that I'm unhappy, I don't understand why you can't just realize what you're doing and stop before things get even more out of hand than they already are. You just carry on regardless, not even considering how I feel about anything. It's like my feelings are nonexistant to you. Put down after put down I have to put up with. When I do something drastic to try and change the way you behave toward me, it gets better at first, then we're back to square one again. It's just one big vicious circle. What annoys me the most is how you try and tell me everything is my fault. And how you tell everyone you meet what a bitch I am. It is extremely unfair. You bring things up from the past out of the blue that you know will upset me, just to get a kick out of it. You laugh at me. You look for ways to make me upset and angry. Although you always manage to turn it around so it's my fault. So I'm the one to blame. And I am sick of it. You have no friends, I wonder why. I wish we got along better, I really do. You make that impossible. There is no way I will ever get along with you if you carry on the way you are. You wonder why I don't spend more time with you, it's because I can't stand being around you. I can't stand being in one constant battle with you. It kills me. You are slowly killing me. My pride, my soul, my self-esteem. You just want to flush it all down the toilet. Thanks for that. Thank you very much.
I feel a rant coming on.
You make my life miserable. Why do you do this to me? You can see that I'm unhappy, I don't understand why you can't just realize what you're doing and stop before things get even more out of hand than they already are. You just carry on regardless, not even considering how I feel about anything. It's like my feelings are nonexistant to you. Put down after put down I have to put up with. When I do something drastic to try and change the way you behave toward me, it gets better at first, then we're back to square one again. It's just one big vicious circle. What annoys me the most is how you try and tell me everything is my fault. And how you tell everyone you meet what a bitch I am. It is extremely unfair. You bring things up from the past out of the blue that you know will upset me, just to get a kick out of it. You laugh at me. You look for ways to make me upset and angry. Although you always manage to turn it around so it's my fault. So I'm the one to blame. And I am sick of it. You have no friends, I wonder why. I wish we got along better, I really do. You make that impossible. There is no way I will ever get along with you if you carry on the way you are. You wonder why I don't spend more time with you, it's because I can't stand being around you. I can't stand being in one constant battle with you. It kills me. You are slowly killing me. My pride, my soul, my self-esteem. You just want to flush it all down the toilet. Thanks for that. Thank you very much.
11.15.2009
They don't know how real love feels.
I love you. More than you could ever imagine. Every single one of you. You make me happier than I have ever been. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have you. I am so grateful I don't know how to express it.
Thank you. Thank you ever so much. I don't know what I would do without you. You have helped me through so much, it's unbelieveable. If you hadn't been there for me when times were rough, I would have never been able to pull myself out of it alone.
You are the creators of my memory, you are what gives me the willpower to get up every morning. You are what pushes me to get through the day, my guiding light, the pieces that make me a whole. The love that I feel for you is indescribable. Without you I would be nothing shy of a loser.
Thank you.
I love you. Never forget that.
Thank you. Thank you ever so much. I don't know what I would do without you. You have helped me through so much, it's unbelieveable. If you hadn't been there for me when times were rough, I would have never been able to pull myself out of it alone.
You are the creators of my memory, you are what gives me the willpower to get up every morning. You are what pushes me to get through the day, my guiding light, the pieces that make me a whole. The love that I feel for you is indescribable. Without you I would be nothing shy of a loser.
Thank you.
I love you. Never forget that.
11.10.2009
Good lord.
I care about you. I really do. A lot.
The thing is, I still don't think I fully understand you.
It is frustrating to me, because out of everyone I've ever met, you are the hardest to read. I need to read people to figure out what they're thinking before they say it, but apparently I can't do that with you. That's why I worry about you so much. Because I can't predict your actions in the slightest. Sometimes, you do things that even though I don't understand your motive, I still try. I know I have some kind of connection with you. You've said this yourself; that I'm the only one that understands the concepts. In this way, I'm honoured. Because when you put your mind to something that's worth it, it's so much easier to grasp. I just want you to know that you are my friend and I love you, and that I care about you very much. I'll always be here for you no matter what, whenever you need someone to listen. It is the least I can do to thank you for opening up to me, and explaining how the gears turn up there. It was an epiphany for me.
Thank you.
The thing is, I still don't think I fully understand you.
It is frustrating to me, because out of everyone I've ever met, you are the hardest to read. I need to read people to figure out what they're thinking before they say it, but apparently I can't do that with you. That's why I worry about you so much. Because I can't predict your actions in the slightest. Sometimes, you do things that even though I don't understand your motive, I still try. I know I have some kind of connection with you. You've said this yourself; that I'm the only one that understands the concepts. In this way, I'm honoured. Because when you put your mind to something that's worth it, it's so much easier to grasp. I just want you to know that you are my friend and I love you, and that I care about you very much. I'll always be here for you no matter what, whenever you need someone to listen. It is the least I can do to thank you for opening up to me, and explaining how the gears turn up there. It was an epiphany for me.
Thank you.
11.08.2009
It's as simple as that.
Had a great night! The end was the best ;) haha. Things just keep gettin' better and better pour moi. Well...there are still issues that need to be sorted out. Oh well. Life's good!
11.06.2009
Nothin' can b-b-b-b-bring me down now.
Appaaaaaaaaarently not! The dance was SO much fun last night! Aaaaaaaand something happened. And now I'm extreeeeemely happy. I'm not even mad right now, which I should be.
I can't believe you could be such a hypocritical bitch. I never expected you to do this. To lie to me too. I thought we were really good friends. It's not the fact that you did it, it's the fact that you're hypocritical and a liar that pisses me off. The fact that you made up said rule too, and now you're doing the complete opposite. Except it's so much worse. How do you think I feel? I don't give two shits what he does with whom, it's the fact that it was you and what happened last year between us, sorting out that this would never happen again. I guess I could never trust you. I just can't believe you would do this. I feel betrayed. Hahaha, friends. Hahahahahahahahaha.
Anyway, enough with the bitch ranting. At this moment, nothing can bring my mood down. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I can't believe you could be such a hypocritical bitch. I never expected you to do this. To lie to me too. I thought we were really good friends. It's not the fact that you did it, it's the fact that you're hypocritical and a liar that pisses me off. The fact that you made up said rule too, and now you're doing the complete opposite. Except it's so much worse. How do you think I feel? I don't give two shits what he does with whom, it's the fact that it was you and what happened last year between us, sorting out that this would never happen again. I guess I could never trust you. I just can't believe you would do this. I feel betrayed. Hahaha, friends. Hahahahahahahahaha.
Anyway, enough with the bitch ranting. At this moment, nothing can bring my mood down. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
11.04.2009
11.02.2009
Butterflies
Uuuuuurrgghhhhh. Why does this always happen to me? I am the most awkward person on the entire planet. It's not fair. Why does everyone else get to be so confident about themselves? Self-esteem is a bitch. I wish I could be more sure of myself. Sadly it's not that easy.
When you look at me, I feel at home somehow. You are like me in so many ways. I love it. Whenever you smile at me it makes me feel on top of the world. It makes my day so much better, even if you have no idea. I could never see you turning into anything less than more sweet, which you already are. So many people have just taken a turn for the worse and turned into something unrecognizable. I know that could never happen to you. We don't know each other all that well, but things can only go up from here, right?
Maybe I'm misinterpreting things.
Who knows?
When you look at me, I feel at home somehow. You are like me in so many ways. I love it. Whenever you smile at me it makes me feel on top of the world. It makes my day so much better, even if you have no idea. I could never see you turning into anything less than more sweet, which you already are. So many people have just taken a turn for the worse and turned into something unrecognizable. I know that could never happen to you. We don't know each other all that well, but things can only go up from here, right?
Maybe I'm misinterpreting things.
Who knows?
11.01.2009
Dum dee dum.
Well I've pretty much given up on giving two shits anymore. Why did you need to do that? It seems pretty childish to me, right after you said you decided not to be like that. Whatever really, that's your choice. I don't even care anymore.
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