Sometimes an "I don't know" means "It's too difficult to talk about."
I'm always torn between wanting to tell my story to everyone and let them know exactly what is in my head or keeping it to myself. The problem is being outwardly unhappy and consistently pushes people away, no matter if they say they're always there to listen, there is only so much your best friend can listen to. On the other hand, to pretend that everything is fine is to poison yourself from the inside out; it is to ignore who you are and lose yourself. So which is better? To have friends that think you are melodramatic, seeking attention, and pessimistic, or to drown in your own mind?
Life is better when you decide you don't care.
"It's okay."
No. It's not fucking okay. I just said it because I'm tired of explaining why it's not. I don't want to argue anymore. It doesn't mean that I'm weak, it only means that I love you too much, and I don't like seeing you like this. I hate seeing you mad and torn up inside. Everyone gets tired of arguing...
Of explaining...
Of fighting...
Of getting hurt...
So I'd rather say...
"It's okay..."
Than getting into something that would cause us to fall apart.
If you've ever had one of those times when you've clutched a pen or something else in your hand for a long time, only to look down and be surprised that you are still holding it long after your need for it has passed, you'll understand sometimes we get so used to holding that we forget to let go.
Ignore me. I'm sad and I will make you sad. We will disappoint and hurt and leave each other- and then you will forget me. I become too attached to people too easily. People like you. It's already happened, but I don't want to ask too much of you. I don't want to ruin all the fun you're having. I'll just leave now. I'll go away so you can enjoy yourself.
It's like this.
You have to have the nicest jeans, or the cutest purse, or say the newest thing so that it catches on. You have to be skinny, you have to buy this, wear this, say that, be on his side, her side, be neutral, have white teeth, have straight teeth, your hair can't be frizzy, and you can't wear that because it just doesn't 'work' anymore. You have to go to parties, be friends with everyone, trust no one, pose like this, smile like that, tilt your head this way, and put your hand on your hip, because that's how it is. And let me just say, fuck all of that.
(On the phone)
Wrong
Girl: "You know what? I'll ttyl. Bye."
Guy: "Fine." *Hangs up
Right
Girl: "You know what? I'll ttyl. Bye."
Guy: "No babe, what's wrong? I'm sorry..." etc.
Girls are bitches, yes. But if she's worth it, you'll chase after her instead of letting her go. We say bye, walk away, hang up, and all of that stuff, but the only reason we do that is to see if you love and care about us enough to come after us and make things better. When we say go, we mean stay. We want you to stay.
Saw some of them and could relate, and others are just true.
:)
